The loss of a loved one and the subsequent grief that follows is one of the hardest things a person can endure. Though nothing can bring that person back, through a mixture of time, support, and a few resources, healing can occur and a new beautiful life can begin on the other side. Here's how storytelling can play a role in providing healing to those healing through the loss of a loved one.
When you begin to look back over a person's life and tell their story, you can realize all the good they left behind and the impact they made on others. Jennifer Wise shared about her journey with grief and how recording her mother's story helped her heal, "Healing from grief through family stories is real. My heart healed through the hours I spent organizing mementos, reading old letters, and sorting through my mom's keepsakes. As I said before, the circumstances of her passing were really as good as they could possibly be. I had no regrets. So I wasn't dealing with unresolved issues-- I was just dealing with loss. I missed her. But creating this life storybook gave me a special opportunity to get to know her a little better in a different way than I had before. I still miss her constantly, but it doesn't hurt quite as much. Healing, for me, came because as I went through the process of writing her life story, I was able to focus more on my abundance than on my loss."
Recording one's experiences can provide a sense of catharsis and create a space for reflection, understanding, and growth. In a study by Mullen et al. (2014), participants who engaged in life review writing reported an increased sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of the deceased person's impact on their own lives. [Mullen, S. P., Knowles, E. S., & Knowles, M. (2014). Life review therapy as an intervention to manage bereavement. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 19(3), 266-277.] The practice of storytelling involves gathering the characters in the story, understanding the context they lived in, then retelling that in an emotionally connected way that automatically bonds to the storyteller. This exercise allows the storyteller to see themselves in the bigger picture of the story as well as feel the meaning of this person's life and therefore acceptance of their loss as a life well lived.
"The death of a family member is regarded as one of the most penetrating and emotionally complex losses an individual will endure" (Cohen & Samp, 2017), the National Library of Medicine reported extensively, "It is not uncommon for bereaved individuals to avoid actively grieving as a way to protect themselves from the pain of losing a loved one." Understadably so as we all have experienced how time heals wounds. However, when this coping mechanism was redirected in the form of storytelling, a study by Wright (2002) and Stroebe (2013) found patients who engaged in expressive writing in grief therapy showed improvements in emotional regulation and adaptive coping among bereaved individuals and a decrease in intrusive thoughts and avoidance behaviors related to their grief. [Wright, B. A., Caserta, M. S., Lund, D. A., & Buettner, C. K. (2002). A qualitative analysis of changes in the beliefs of bereaved individuals following an expressive writing intervention. Death Studies, 26(1), 1-30]. [Stroebe, M. S., Schut, H., & Stroebe, W. (2013). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: A decade on. Omega-Journal of Death and Dying, 66(2), 97-120.]
We are so sorry the people that matter most cannot stay by your side forever, but we want to help you preserve their memory. We've built in our app a variety of prompts to kickstart recording your story through various family members. Check out the My Parents and My Grandparents sections to find a few you like. Want to tell someone else's story or add a story that isn't in the prompts? No problem, you can create as many custom stories as you like.
